Hey! She called down from her balcony. What are you doing back so soon?
Oh my god. He’s a Christian. Not just a Christian, a reborn, bible thumping, I have an overwhelming need to convert you, I’m going to hold you hostage until you agree, Christian.
Sandy burst into a raucous laugh. Well, Christians aren’t so bad. But for you….maybe not your soul mate.
We had decided to meet to get to know each other better, and had agreed on a wine bar near the trolley and his office. I was there first, and ordered a prosecco for myself. I planned to pay my own tab, unless he insisted, and to get something to eat. He walked into the café, and joined me outdoors at a small table. The waiter dashed over “What would you like to drink?” and he said coffee. Coffee. Coffee at a wine bar. I felt like an alcoholic. This is not beginning well.
He went on to explain that his ex wife had cleaned him out, and he was living in a house with six other guys in their 50s near the border. He was totally broke, and didn’t have a car right now, just used public transportation. In my mind this was going from bad to worse. Was he going to expect me to pay for his coffee?
How in the world we started talking about religion, I can’t even guess. I certainly didn’t bring it up, but once the subject was on the table, he was unstoppable. He was so aggressive about it that I decided to add fuel to the fire and said I always avoid sitting across to or next to people on the train who are reading the bible, because I think it’s creepy.
It didn’t seem possible that he could get any more pushy about the subject, but that did it. Her lept from his seat yelling, what if they were reading the Koran? Would you sit across from them quietly? What’s wrong with the bible? Why do you hate god.
All the other restaurant patrons were now at full attention, looking at his man standing on the street yelling at me about jesus. I wanted to hide under the seat, but I just motioned to the waiter to get me a second prosecco, quickly.
He was the perfect man, on paper. My age, attorney defending mothers in child support cases, rn a not for profit in Idaho creating low income housing, worked as a consultant overseas, graduated from Berkeley, former politician. Smart, short but smart, and very attentive.
We met at a picnic for an international group, hosting visitors from the former USSR, and he followed me around all afternoon. We had so much in common. Little did I know.
Eventually I escaped and I heard he found someone to marry. Good for him.